What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a fantastic parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not need to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it does not imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves first and then our children next. We function as role models that are important for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are 10 tips for a great parenting experience, including the way to avoid bad parenting, and be a much better parent.
They aren't all that easy or fast.
Not everybody can do them continuously.
However, even if you only do a part of these tips in this parenting guide, you'll be moving in the right direction in case you continue working on them.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
Thus, function as the person you want your child to be - respect your child, demonstrate to them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - and your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate your love.
There is simply no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love may - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
To love the child of yours may be as simple as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and hearing your child's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the kid, will acquire resilience and also never to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we're. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They will then be able to experience positive experiences themselves and offer them to others.
But if you give your child negative experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Allow them to have good attention. Ride through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections in your child's brain and form the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you establish rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to learn for the future in a good manner, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as a person. Be a warm and safe place for your child to explore from and go back to.
Kids raised by parents that are consistently responsive tend to have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a much better connection with the child of yours and your kid may come for you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You do not need to offer solutions. You do not need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had a good upbringing and a happy childhood may want to alter several aspects of how they had been brought up.
But really often, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make https://parentinghowto.com/ note of things you would like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be aware and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Don't quit if you don't succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief too.
Give consideration to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or the overall health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to avoid getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more prone to fighting along with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later on in daily life, they are also far more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are an assortment of more effective options to discipline that have been proven to be much more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in increasing a kid?
If you're like most parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy good associations along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you probably spend most of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in their book, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate the life of yours, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Instead, find ways to turn every bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be transformed into priceless brain-sculpting moments if you focus on teaching your child, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a child and info which are backed by science, here is among my personal favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of medical knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every kid is different. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of effective parenting practices you could choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that works ideal for your child.
Naturally, you are able to also decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is hard, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come much later than the effort. But if we try our best now, we'll eventually reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!